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Letters to a Young Manager


Building Trust, #583
LTYM >

Please note that this letter is in-process; the following are my notes

Dear Adam,
***
Scott as a 3-year old carefully building a tower of wooden blocks, one at a time, until it was nearly as tall as him. When I asked, what will you do next next? He said, "knock it down!" and with one swipe, the blocks retuned to the pile.

It take carful work to build trust, a step at a time, with the confidence of your team growing each step. But one false step, and it comes crashing down. Trust is earned over time, and destroyed in an instant.
***
Sincerely yours,
Ed
________________________

References...

Takeaways:

Trust is earned over time, and destroyed in an instant

Discussion Questions:


For Further Reading:

From the appendix of my ongoing discussions with Richard Cho: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jPXlxJLC732vNIY-ajxKqw8IqSzOp0tDvdzBYri-uzs/edit#heading=h.6bxg3sikdlhp

Appendix E - Building Trust

First, some umbrella thoughts: Trust is a two-way street. As a leader, you want people to trust you more. But it’s also about you trusting them more. And saying build trust, is the right verb. Trust is built a piece at a time. It has to be earned, and that takes time. It’s not built in a day.


Unfortunately, trust can be knocked down in a blink of an eye. Failing to tell the truth (lying) is probably the fastest way to destroy trust. Criticizing in public is another way to lose the trust of your team. There are more, but let’s keep the focus on the positive.


I tried to find a good article or book on trust.[1] But I felt that each one I read missed some important things. So I wrote my own list, below. There was a video by a retired UM Ross Business School Professor that Shirley sent me that I really like. So watch this one and tell me what your takeaways and questions are: https://robertequinn.com/online-learning/


To start a discussion, here is my list of a dozen things that build trust in a team. What resonates?

  1. Have a vision that people understand, buy into and are excited about
  2. Give people the benefit of the doubt; mistakes don’t necessarily mean bad intentions; they may be learning opportunities
  3. Accept failure; if you don’t have it you’re not experimenting enough
  4. When you know better, let people do it; coaching them and give them feedback, but they own it
  5. Have peoples back; defend them and keep the wolves at bay
  6. Show integrity transparently; say what you’re thinking, what you’re going to do, and then do it
  7. Show up; be an audience for your team
  8. Play to strengths, not weaknesses; building on strengths bears more fruit than (trying to) correcting people
  9. Listen and learn about your people’s dreams, family’s and context (you know this about your best customers, yes?)
  10. Service in, service out (see #9)
  11. Praise in public; critique In private; find ways for a person who screwed up to save face.
  12. Be vulnerable and be willing to change



Footnotes:
[1] 1) The closest I found in the book category is by Stephen Covey’s son, Stephen M.R. Covey, “The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything,” Kindle Edition, 2006, https://www.amazon.com/SPEED-Trust-Thing-Changes-Everything-ebook/dp/B000MGATWG
2) For an inspiring video about team trust, see “Achieving More with Trust: George Dom at TEDxSonomaCounty,” 2013, https://youtu.be/xuRRlld8VDI
3) For a good story about trust, see “Do what you say you will and Own your mistakes“, in Wendy Dailey, “Two Stories About Building Trust,” Workology, Feb 14, 2018, https://workology.com/two-stories-about-building-trust/
4) For an alternate list and trust-building on virtual teams, see the respected recruiting firm, Spencer Stuart’s, blog post on “No Trust, No Team: Six Best Practices for Building Trust on Virtual Teams,” by James M. Citrin, Darleen Derosa, March 25, 2021, https://www.spencerstuart.com/leadership-matters/2021/march/no-trust-no-team




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